nightmare (cross between war of the worlds and paranormal activity)

I was living in a big house with my parents and chloe my daughter, the house looked similar to the house that I had grew up in but bigger. The lights were all off like we were having some sort of blackout, but there was still plenty of light outside still that it didnt make things super dark, however the t.v. was still working (strangely) and we were watching a news report on it (except chloe who was in her room asleep)and my dad was walking around with his cell phone using the back light to light his way in dark rooms ( which was really annoying because it was also playing some weird ringtone at the same time). So we're watching the news and it's showing a birds eye view from a helicopter of some rooftops where these strange creatures were walking around on top of houses. The creatures were huge animal-humanoid beings, that seemed to me were some sort of alien life form, one of these creatures that looked like a turtle walking upright with red eyes looked right into the camera and I shivered, this was not a nice "e.t."alien for sure. Dad at this point looks up and says "did you hear that?" "No dad all I can hear is that stupid ringtone comming out of your phone". He shut the phone off and we all looked up listening, and thats when we heard the sratching thuds above us, "well I think we better get out of here, go get some things and we'll leave" dad said. I went down to my basement bedroom and it was getting really dark down there, when I opened my door I noticed that the blinds that cover my window were shredded bad with claw marks and even though the window was still closed they were moving rapidly. Well now totally freaked I ran upstairs and told mom and dad what I had seen, dad ever the sceptic wanted to see for himself so I led them both back down. When we went into my room the blinds were no longer torn apart but the painton the was still scratched off like they had simply reformed but didt re-paint themselves. "I swear, these were all shredded and moving like somthing was in here", "I think somthing is still in here" dad said pointing to my bed. On the bed was a long shape under the covers and it was moving, by this time I was no longer freaked out, I was scared to death! "I think we need to get the hell outta here now!"dad said. We all ran upstairs, and I ran into chloes room and woke her and said "come on punkin we gotta go" "where are we going dad?", "dont worry just get your shoes cuz we gotta hurry ok". luckily my keys and wallet were in the kitchen along with my cell phone so I grabbed those and started heading for the door "your gonna need some shoes" said mom, "forget that, there in my room and im not going back in there, I'll buy some more freakin shoes!" When we got outside my cell phone started to vibrate like I had a call or a text except when I looked at the screen It was showing weird colors and flashes of picture and I could hear what sounded like breathing and a voice whispering, "The damn things possessed my phone!" thats when we all got in the car,and I woke up shaking....had to go right outside for a cigarrett after that...freaked me out!

A Moment of Clarity

As I was lounging around today watching a movie (big surprise), I had a moment of clarity about my life that I would like to share with you.

I have had a difficult year and there have been allot of things that have made me depressed or frustrated me, these down times have really affected me and they tended to destroy my whole day or week or even longer.

As I was watching that movie I began to realise a few things; one, my life is actually pretty good, I have always wished my life could be like a movie where there was always something going on....action, romance, excitement, drama, and yes even happiness, but then I began to realise that my life did have all these things that I love about movies and the people I share my life with they are the characters that I see and love in these movies, everything going on all around me is life (my own movie) and I get to be the lead character in it and I get to decide what I do with that character.

This brings me to my second realization; we are in control of our own lives and how we live them.

We may not be able to control certain things that happen in our lives but we can control how they affect us, now there will be times when things happen that are out of our control and our emotions come out and we just react as humans by getting sad or angry or any other emotions that are not who we really are as a person inside, and that's OK we need to feel these emotions, we need to feel them fully, to get absolutely angry or sad or whatever, and get it all out at once then let it go completely and chose to go on with our lives, choose to be happy completely and nothing else, choose to be the best person we can be all the time and let everything else go.

So I have decided to post my moment of clarity so that I can look back at my own words and remember, and just be the very best person I can be and have fun and enjoy this life movie that I am apart of and love all of the characters in my life and be the best character I can be in all of your life movies.

An Awesome Book

One of my favorite books of all time "Way of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman. This is a book I was introduced to by a friend of mine named Shyler when I was 17 years old. It is a book that I have read a number of times, and each time I read it I get somthing new from it. recently(a few years ago) they made a movie about it titled "peaceful warrior", however I would encourage you to read the book, as like in most movies, many things are in the book that are not in the movie.
This book has been a great inspiration to me and I have learned much from it. I believe that Dan Millman is touches on many of the "big" questions we all have about the meaning of life and why we are here without getting into religeon. I encourage you all to get a copy of this book from the library or wherever and read it. even if it doesnt inspire you as it has me or even if it dosent answer the questions I mentioned, I can assure you, it is an interesting book to read, and maybe just maybe it will change your life as the cover suggests.

FEAR

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear."
--- H.P. Lovecraft

I would like to talk about fear. We all have our fears that we live with every day of our lives, some are small and just annoying at times; others are large and debilitating, consuming us when they surface. I for one have many fears, mostly of the small variety, however I do have a few of the larger ones and it is one of those that I will discuss with you now.
For as long as I can remember I have had a fear of having no one to love and to love me in return, it is also a fear of losing that love. It is not a phobia in the general sense of the word (I looked it up) however it has been something that has haunted me my entire life, it may have even been a small factor in my recent separation and eventual divorce of my wife. "sometimes when you think or dwell on something long enough, you subconsciously make it happen".

"I have almost forgot the taste of fears.
The time has been my senses would have cool'd
To hear a night shriek, and my fell of hair
Would at a dismal treatise rouse and stir
As life were in't. I have supp'd full with horrors;
Direness, familiar to my slaughterous thoughts,
Cannot once start me."
---- Will - Macbeth

I believe if we confront and face our fears, even just talk about them with others, that we can at least understand them and control them, if not defeat them altogether. As I said before we all have fears, even the most confident and strongest of us all. So I say we band together as friends and family and human beings who are all here fighting our different battles everyday, we can join together to help each other fight whatever it is we are afraid of. For loving and forgiving the weaknesses of ourselves and those around us will make us strong.


Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it."
---- Lt. John B. Putnam Jr. (1921-1944)

Books vs Movies

I want to discuss something today that many of you might already know, but its my blog so i can do it if i want. Books vs Movies, the younger people might not realize this but most movies that are made are already out there in book form before the movie ever hits the big screen, I'm sure everyone knows about the Harry Potter series, but how many of you have actually sat down and read these wonderful books? If you are one of the unfortunate ones out there who have not read this series but have seen the movies, the movies were maybe a little confusing or not that interesting at all, due to the fact that movies cannot show everything that is actually in the books (we would be watching 12 hour movies).
There are many other examples of this out there, but the one I would like to mention is one of my favorites lately. Percy Jackson & the Olympians the Lightning Thief is something I had heard people talking about but I knew nothing about myself. I was at the movies one day with my wife and daughter and I saw a preview for Percy Jackson & the Olympians the Lightning Thief(ya know that's a really long name), and it looked really cool. Well my birthday came around and my awesome father-in-law Russ(who knew I liked to read) gave me a gift certificate for Barnes & Noble. So one day I decided to go use my birthday gift, and I came across a Percy Jackson 3 pack(first 3 of 5 in series) that was on sale, well the movie preview had intrigued me so much that I bought it. Now for those of you who didn't know, this is a series (like Harry Potter) that was written for younger audience, but as I am a kid in so many ways, it appealed to me and I read through the three books in no time at all. I even went to the library and checked out the other 2 as soon as they became available. Months later the movie came out on DVD and I was able to see the movie. Now don't get me wrong I did like the movie very much (I own it today), but I was disappointed by it as well, there was so much that was left out and changed altogether, that I knew right away that unlike Harry Potter they were most likely not going to continue the series in movie form.
The reason for this story is simply this, I was touched in a way by Percy Jackson that I would never had known if I had not taken the time to read. Reading can change your life in ways that you cannot possibly know until you do it. So I encourage you all out there young and old to start reading once and awhile, and those of you who already do, keep it up.

Life and Death

As some of you may know I'm what you might call a movie buff, in reality it is so much more than that, call it an addiction, cuz movies are kind of like heroin to me, I watch at least one a day and I can get kinda crazy if I don't get my movie fix. LOL. Anyways I watched a movie with my dad last night (thank you redbox) called "Hereafter" starring Matt Damon. I don't intend to tell you about it because I think you should check it out for yourself. I will however say the following... this is a really good movie and one that I recommend for most adult audiences, however if you are someone who is highly sensitive bring Kleenex. Also if you get frustrated with fast moving subtitles (as I sometimes do) this movie has a bunch although most of it is in English. The beginning scene is quite intense and the whole movie would not interest children.
All that said it was a very well made movie that was very interesting to watch. If you need a hint to what it is about, my title to this post says it all. hope to hear from you on this, as it is my first of many movie talks.

The Beginning

The person who has inspired me to start up this blog is my father Jerrie. Therefore I believe he will be the first one that I talk about. My dad is an awesome guy who, over the years, has taught me many things, most good, a few not so good. One thing he taught me (good) was that i need to write a journal and document my life (so to speak). Well as of today I am starting up 2 journals, one that I will keep private, to talk about things that are very personal and private, the other will be this one, one that I will share with the world (or who ever looks at it). As my father has shared many things with me over the years, so to will I share a part of my life with you.

I invite you all to come here and read a little about me and share your thoughts or feelings or just checkout what my thoughts and feelings are. I will do my best to just be honest and true to myself. Thank you dad for giving me one more push to do something with myself and the experiences I have had.